Ho, Ho, Ho (Chi Minh)! Kerry, Kerry, Christmas! NOT!
The Night Before Christmas (Cambodian Version)
Twas the night before Christmas and we were afloat Somewhere in Cambodia in our little boat. While the river was lightened by rockets red glare No one but the President knew we were there.
The crew was all nestled deep down in their bunks, While the Spook and I watched the sampans and junks. Our mission was secret, so secret in fact, No one else would remember it when we got back.
When out on the water there arose such a clatter I leaped down from the bridge to see what was the matter. The incoming friendly was starting to flash And I knew that the ARVN's were having a bash.
The snap of friendly fire on the warm tropic air Convinced me for sure no one knew we were there, On a clandestine mission so secret it's true That I'm still convinced only Tricky Dick knew.
While I huddled for safety in the tub on the bow, I thought of a title, "Apocalypse Now." To give to the films I was I making each day To show all the voters when I made my big play.
As I sat there sweating in my lucky flight jacket, Spook said, "Merry Christmas!" and tossed me a packet. And what to my wondering eyes did appear, But a new lucky cap, which I still have right here.
I keep it tucked here, in this leather brief case, Just sharing with the press its secretive place As I regale them again with my senate refrain, That Christmas in Cambodia is seared into my brain.
Don't bother to quibble with history my friend, By pointing out Johnson was President then. Don't listen to Swiftees who try to explain, For I tell you that night is seared into my brain.
Down Hibbard, down Lonsdale, and you too O'Neill, So you don't remember? Well it's something I feel. I don't need all you Swiftvets to support my campaign, Cause Christmas in Cambodia is seared into my brain,
Into my brain, into my brain, into my brain...
Russ Vaughn 2d Bn, 327th Parachute Infantry Regiment 101st Airborne Division Vietnam 65-66
Did you get what you wanted, Johnny? You didn't? Awwww! Mommy tried to buy it for you but we were too smart to sell it to her? What's a poor boy to do, Johnny? You dumb ass! (What, me gloat? Hell, yeah!)
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